Pierce My Heart
by Dandy352
Summary: "Even if I couldn't see you, I could still hear your voice. If I could hear you laughing, I can go on living as the most blessed person in the world." Possibly an excerpt if I decide to turn it into a series.Warning: This is NOT related to "His & Her Best Friend."


Disclaimer: I do not own CCS.

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_"Even if I couldn't see you, I could still hear your voice. If I could hear you laughing, I can go on living as the most blessed person in the world."_

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_~*- _**Pierce My Heart -***~

"What?" Her emerald eyes looked up to him, piercing what was left of their friendship. Yet he only tightened his grip on her arm.

"You're my best friend! Aren't you supposed to understand?" He retorted with a seemingly disappointed and somewhat angered tone. He saw her eyes widen in negative disbelief but preferred to ignore it.

For years the two of them were inseparable, the best of friends as people around them would describe. Isn't he suppose to believe she's going to support him even when the world was against him for being with the girl he believed was the one for him?

"Sakura…" He tried calling her, hoping with the least bit of confidence that she would understand his thoughts. It may be true that he chose the girl over his family. He knew he hasn't lost his family, at least not yet. Family is family no matter what, even when he chose to disobey them. But Sakura was not family. She's been his best friend since childhood. He just wants to believe that a best friend will be the one to stay, is that so wrong?

"Best friend? Really Syaoran?" She laughed bitterly and in sarcasm.

"Because from what I know, we stopped being friends since the day I was hospitalized and almost died with you unaware of what happened to me. Friends are supposed to be there for you, fight for you when you need them, back you up, believe in you no matter what, and stay by your side when you need them, especially when you need them! You said you'll fight for her because she saved you once. She saved you once and you believed her. Choosing her over us, I would have been better if I didn't hear it from you. But I guess it's for the good that I did. Now, I can finally end it. Now, I can finally let go. I never stopped being your best friend Syaoran. I tried calling you, e-mailing you. I tried looking for you when you were so busy with her you wouldn't even give a second to listen to me. It's you who stopped being a friend! Now, it's my turn to stop being yours."

She kept her fiery eyes on his unbelieving ones. She was clenching her fist. Clueless as he was before, now she made it all known to him. Now, he had no excuse to say it was her who drifted away.

His mouth gaping open, was dry. He was too taken back to speak, not a word, not even a syllable.

'_You won't die. I promise I'll always be there for you. I know how much you're scared of death. I won't let you out of my side, I promise.' _He was suddenly reminded of his own voice from years ago.

Did he really forget? Did he really break it all because of his selfishness? Had he really become too conceited that he neglected her?

For someone who promised to be her strength, was he really reduced to an unknowing idiot who wasn't even a friend to her?

"Sakura I- I didn't know. I'm sorry." was all he could say at the moment. Perhaps he had no right to even ask for her forgiveness. Perhaps he was just hurting her more by apologizing but she deserved it at least.

He knew, even if she doesn't say it directly. He failed her.

He heard a gulp. How long has it been since the cold silence filled them? How long has it been since she finished telling him what really happened, what was really the situation they're in?

"I know you'll be." She said. His amber eyes that were once filled with life were now dull, pleading her teary emerald ones, begging them for an unsaid second chance. But she knew better than to allow him to break her heart a second time.

"I'll have to forgive you anyway. But this time, Syaoran you have to let me go." She stared at him, and this time she was the one pleading.

He didn't want to believe her words. He didn't want to believe she just asked him to let her go.

"Let me go, just like how I let you go when I woke up from comma looking for you but you weren't there."

Her words pierced his heart like a double edged knife. She was in comma? She had to go through that, and he didn't even know.

He was wrong. He wasn't just a conceited jerk. He was also ignorant, selfish, probably the worst person in the planet.

His vision became blurry and he wasn't surprised when he tasted something salty wetting his dry lips.

A fresh batch of tears wet her cheeks too. He wanted to dry her tears. He wanted to touch her, calm her, comfort her, anything to ease her pain, anything to stop her from hurting.

But what can he do? He knew he was the reason for her tears.

"Did it hurt a lot?" He asked, hoping his knees wouldn't fail him.

"It did. But it was nothing compared to seeing you happy with her when I came looking for you right after I was discharged from the hospital. I thought you were happy I was alive. I thought you were planning on some surprise to make up for not visiting me. I didn't want to believe you didn't care. I even heard her say, "How about Sakura? Won't she be jealous? She's been calling you for days Syao?" She called you sweetly and you smiled as if she was the only one that mattered to you. You told her, "She'll understand. I want to be with you." The hell with that Syaoran! Do I look like I understand? You didn't even know what happened to me! You didn't even bother knowing! Did you even care about me? It feels like to you I'm nothing! What happened to your promises? Whatever happened to "Sakura, I'll always be there for you?" What happened to "I promise I'll always be the first to know about you?" Were you lying when you said that? I didn't know you're such a good actor Li Syaoran! I was fooled. I totally believed you."

She stopped talking, but he chose to keep silent. Tears never stopped falling for both of them.

"I'm leaving for America. As much I hate you, I don't want you to feel guilty for the rest of your life. You hurt me. You hurt me in the most painful way by making me believe and put my hope in you only to let me fall hard on the ground, alone. You weren't even there to see me fall. But even so, I'll have you know that I was really happy when I was with you. I was happy when I still believed I had the most wonderful best friend in the world, someone who'll always be there for me, a guy named Li Syaoran. And for all that I give you my sincere thanks. I'm going to fight Syaoran. I know I'm going to live, even if away from you. I forgive you, and I ask that you forgive yourself too. It was all in the past. Now, I let you go. I tried saving you again just because I thought you needed it. Even at the last time, I thought it would be a great parting gift. But as I see it, you truly love her, enough that you chose her over me. And no, I'm not blaming you for it. Loving someone was never a mistake. I know this is a big blow for you. But I still wanted you to know. I don't want to keep this burden all to myself. And I want to hear you say you're letting me go. So please Syaoran, I need to hear it from you."

"Sakura I-" _No. No. I don't want to. _He wanted to refuse. He wanted to beg her to stay. But he knew her condition. He knew she needed treatment. He also knew he had no right to stop her. "I'm letting you go, Sakura." His voice broke at the mention of her name. He looked up to see her smiling gratefully. She looked vulnerable. The tears never left, but at least she was smiling.

So she needed freedom. She needed to be free from him. And despite how much it drained him physically, mentally and emotionally to utter those five words, he knew she needed to hear it. She deserved to be free. She deserved to live a better life. She deserved to be happy, even when he knew he was going to be miserable without her.

She was smiling when he felt her cold hand on his cheek.

For the last time, he tried memorizing her face. For the last time, he allowed herself to get lost in the pool of emerald, her eyes – the eyes that once made him feel like nothing is impossible – the eyes that once encouraged him to fight for his dreams – the eyes that inspired him to become a better person – and the same eyes that pierced his heart when he saw disappointment and hurt in those eyes.

"Goodbye Syaoran."

She murmured, letting go of his cheek. She turned her back to him, and began walking away.

The bell rang when he saw the door close. She wasn't there anymore. She was gone. She just left him standing alone with nothing but the memory of her.

That was when he couldn't hold it anymore. He allowed himself to collapse on his knees and sob on the floor.

"Goodbye Sakura."

There was faint brightness in his amber eyes despite the crystal tears when he uttered her name, the name of the sweet cheerful girl that he knew would be in his heart for the rest of his life.

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**A/N: I was inspired to write this in the middle of studying managerial accounting. The line in the beginning is the potential tagline if I ever decide this to be turned into a series. I know, I know I have other stories to update. Please pray that I be inspired. Really, that's what I need to be able to update. Now, about the story, what do you think? Did it feel real to you as it did to me? Reviews please! Thank you! ^^**


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